Kondwera: Reviewing Melinda French Gate’s “The Next Day” on transitions and growth.

I noticed that I’ve been calling the shifts many of us are experiencing “moments.”

Perhaps it is a subconscious reminder that neither layoff nor uncertainty is forever, even if they feel consuming.

Being between opportunities has afforded me time to read more. Last night, I was up until 4 am reading Melinda French Gates’s new book, "The Next Day: Transitions, Change, and Moving Forward," in its entirety. I could not put it down.

It's beautifully written and richly layered with poignant reflections. It is a guidepost she hopes readers can return to in future “moments.”

I’ve long admired Melinda, so reading her book and attending her book event moderated by Michele Norris tonight was amazing! She offered truths we all connect with:

🔹 Our needs for agency, belongingness, making meaning of what happens to us, and being understood.

🔹 Having power over how we evolve.

I loved that her book speaks of her heartbreaks, triumphs, and also recognizes the range of the human experience.

It exposes more of who she is: multi-faceted, pro goals but still honoring spontaneity, a fan of Tara Brach’s radical acceptance and self-compassion and Maia's poetry, and caring about the world enough to make a stand and bring people together.

Her father impressed on her all she could be, even before she saw it herself. I loved her story of becoming a mother, feeling changed, but determined to be herself until she realized she was herself, but new. I understood her sharing of how primal we become when anything threatens our babies.

She shares about friendship and how our ties, the roots we set, are vital to this life. And that with those deep connections comes inevitable grief. I wept reading about her friend John, perhaps because my old friend from college and his young son tragically lost their lives less than a month ago. The way people describe John is the way I’d describe Danny: a deeply good human being who poured goodness into others.

The book talked about life's many transitions: good ones, sad ones, hard ones... In each one, the real work starts the next day. That is when we can pause and decide how we will respond to the change and if we will grow into the next version of ourselves with intentionality and purpose... or just let life happen to us.

This week, 22 years ago, I buried my mum. It was quite a transition for a high schooler, and the void remains today. Tonight, I did what I always do when I’m take part in something I wish I could share with her: I wore her red chitenge (Zambian fabric) to the event!

Having sunflowers, like those in my grandparents’ garden, to end the night felt like a hug. They, too, pushed their girls to soar, and they’d cheer on this book, and me, as I move through this moment.

"The Next Day" is a wonderful gem that is so needed! If, like me, you are in a season of transition, or you are holding space for someone who is, this book is a must-read! 🌱

I shared a version of this post on my LinkedIn.