Kondwera: Deep Questions from Little Humans Who See Us.

Mommy, do you like being a grown-up?” my son, “Theo” asked one day.

Kids have a way of asking some astoundingly deep questions. At first, I thought my little one was just curious, but given the uncertainty we’re all wading through and other contextual clues, I had to wonder… was he sensing the weight of the world too?

I felt a pang of guilt. Had I failed to shield him?

I started to answer, quickly trying to fix my perceived failure with a lighthearted confession that though I liked being an adult, I sometimes wished I could do all the fun kid stuff AND sleep a lot more.

I stopped myself. Yes, it would be wonderful to be seven again, dancing to Bob Marley with my late mum. But in that moment, I realized I had minimized his experience. If he was feeling anxious, my response had implied that childhood was easy which was not fair to him. Certainly, our struggles look different, but at his young age, his challenges are just as real to him as mine are to me. The difference? I have more tools to handle mine, more time to learn how to deal, and more agency.

So, I asked him, “Do you like being a kid?”

“Sometimes yes and sometimes no.” He responded.

“Tell me more about that. I’d love to hear your thoughts.”

He shared more, confirming my hunch. We talked about it, but I wasn’t done. I had to own up to not handling the conversation correctly at the start.

“What I said before about wishing to be a kid sometimes was true, but I didn’t like how I said it. I don’t think being a kid is easy; it’s just different. Your job is to have fun, learn, and grow into a happy, healthy, whole grown-up. And my job is to help you and to listen.”

The biggest takeaway for me? It’s not about putting on a happy face and pretending everything’s fine. Kids see us. They feel the undercurrents of our stress, even when we think we’re hiding it. Because sometimes, what we don’t say still filters through.

Some things to consider in uncertain times:

1) Radical acceptance and self-compassion (Tara Brach’s work is a great resource).
2) Be real. Obviously not trauma-dumping but acknowledging when things are tough while reminding kids (and loved ones) that you’re there for them.
3) Lean on your people—the rough times are when bonds tighten. Don’t go at it alone.

I’d like to know:

How are you helping your kids, loved ones, and friends navigate these times?
And just as importantly, how are you taking care of yourself?

I shared a version of this on my LinkedIn.