Kondwera: Doing a 410 lb Leg Press “Like A Girl”

Turns out I had it in me! Today, at the gym, I pushed 410 pounds for three reps on the angled leg press machine. A new personal record (PR). More on that in a moment.

If you know me, you know that I love music. At any given time, there is a song playing in my mind. Today, it was Miley Cyrus’s “The Climb” from her Hannah Montana days. I am a Disney millennial, and yes, I felt compelled to record a cover later in the day… and did!

“The Climb” is a beautiful song about hardships in life and the importance of the journey itself. It is about the process of moving through obstacle after obstacle, even when new mountains rudely pop up right after you surmounted the old ones. I particularly love it because it has my mum’s last words to me, “keep the faith, baby,” in it. My mum was all about pushing through moments, when everything realistically could have been a full stop, and doing things on your terms. This year has been like traversing a mountain range while simultaneously bopping weasels out of your way. The type of year when I leaned heavily on the ditty we learned as kids from a certain blue fish, “just keep swimming,” and on another similar song, Elms District’s “Journey On.”

Today, my body was heavily hinting that it was going to be an unremarkable day. And my mind seemed to follow with “I can’t do this” thoughts. Understandable. I am fresh off a cold, stress from a career decision, and I hurt my foot a few weeks ago. I had every reason to sit it out, but I knew I needed to be there, even if I felt that I did not have the energy to do what I wanted to accomplish. It felt like looking up an impossible mountain.

So, I started modifying everything: instead of heavy squats, I did ATG squats with just the bar. Instead of deadlifts, I did some challenging mobility work. Instead of hip thrusts, I listened to my body saying, “Absolutely not today.”

Then I questioned that. How did I know that I absolutely could not do anything? Even though I am all for honoring my body, I felt as though I was not doing enough. I had not been in the gym in the week. I felt I should be doing more, and there was this antsy energy in me that felt like I likely had more in me. So, it was not total exhaustion speaking… I felt like maybe it was willpower that needed to step in. But willpower needs to be wrapped in wisdom too. That I did not feel my full strength meant that I needed to only do exercises that would protect my body too. No to injuries today! In came the angled leg press. I decided to tell my brain I was starting at the top of a mountain: starting with really heavy weight and low reps then dropping down weight each set and increasing reps. Mentally, it feels easier to me, but it is hard.

I do love competing against myself, and last time I did leg press, I had done descending sets: 360 lbs (my previous PR) at four sets of three, then down to 270, 180, 90, and no added weight. I also recently learned that the machine itself adds another 119 pounds, but I do not count that because the math gets too messy. I just count the plates. Still, just knowing there’s even more weight I’m not counting, as a petite woman, makes me feel mini and pretty mighty.

Today, I thought, Let me start at 360 again and see if I can do that. But then something whispered, What if you added more? Whoa, slow down, T. You are not about to add another 90 pounds… So, I went looking for two 10-pound plates to add 20 pounds total, but I accidently grabbed two 25-pound plates instead, an extra 50 pounds. That brought the total to 410.

When I sat down, my legs were shaking. My body thought no and my brain seemed to agree. But I had already loaded the plates, so I decided to try.

I could not even push it on my first attempt. But there was no way I was going to get up in front of all those people, who weren’t watching, to remove plates. Nope. Too proud.

Morgan St. Jean’s “Do It Like a Girl” was playing, so I used that and my frustration to fuel the first rep. Proper form and all. One! Then I thought, okay, you did it, stop. But I knew I had more in me. So I did a second rep. Then a third. I was shaking so hard, but I felt so proud of myself.

Last time, my PR was three sets of four at 360. Today, I did 1 sets of three at 410.

Even though I was shaky, there was still so much strength waiting in me, probably helped by the heavy carbs from last night too. Chinchilla’s “Whose Your Mummy” was playing now. So next, I did three sets of six at 360. Whoa! Then three sets of eight at 270 pounds. Three sets of eight at 180, switching to a wide stance, pushing off heels (a brutal variation). Three slow, controlled sets of 10 at 90 pounds. Two sets of 20 with no added weight as a finisher. I like to pretend it was like pushing a combined 21,210.

When I finished, the joy hit me. I said “I did it” out loud. I made eye contact with a woman on a nearby bike. She smiled, and I realized she had been watching the whole saga. I smiled back.

Before heading home, I did some other exercises and then left. My legs were shaky, so going down the stairs was brutal. Like I had jello kneecaps. If you are like me, that feeling like you gave your workout your all is, like a Boston creme donut, the absolute best. I drove home and will probably spend the next couple of days with a massage gun. Worth it!

I will repeat this same workout for a few more weeks. I am not necessarily chasing another PR. And the forward approach is not to be immediately suspicious of my body’s signals to take it easy. Sometimes rest is exactly what we need. But I know that for me, other times, taming my mind helps me get my body moving and climbing. Today was this occasional gym rat’s reminder that my mind has power over what feels impossible and that my body has a lot more fight in her than she lets on. But what tells either what is possible? What delightfully and defiantly nudges both and reverses the stubborn inertia? For me, it felt like opposing force emanated from my gut. Hello, solar plexus!

Going forward, I plan to strike the balance by listening to my gut. The body is always saying something. The mind may be responding to that message or reacting to circumstance. But both are listening to that willpower within. Most days it might tell me to honor my body, to rest, to recover… or even to move.

Protein shake. An awkward dance to Lizzo’s “Like a Girl” because I certainly added a little estrogen today. Shower. And a nap before meetings. Today, I climbed and on my own terms.

And, yes, this was totally a post about a PR and lessons learned therein.