Kondwera: Leadership lessons on conflict repair from parenting to the office

Dr. Becky on repairing conflict. This clip had me thinking:

💡What if people struggle to repair after conflict or failure because they’re afraid of losing their standing in whatever hierarchy they’re navigating?

Dr. Becky is spot on: parenting is a form of leadership. And good parenting, like good leadership, requires:
Intention – A clear goal (in my case, helping my little one grow into a happy, healthy, whole adult).
Consciousness – Staying aware of myself and reflecting on how I show up and how that impacts my child and the outcome I’m striving for.
Curiosity and Humility – Being open to learning from the person I’m leading, even when that person is a child.

Here’s the nuance:
Leading, even in parenting, isn’t managing.
Even a young child has agency. If you don’t believe me, ask anyone with a toddler how well “directing” a strong-willed three-year-old at bedtime works. The pros know—it’s an artful dance of redirection and negotiation, or else… meltdown city.

I don’t want to use my authority to dampen my kid’s strong-willed nature. He’s going to need that fire to thrive in this world. But how I guide him teaches him when and how to flex that muscle. And for the skeptics—yes, my house meets bedtime, and he gets his 12 hours a night.

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach.
As a parent, I have to meet my child where he is. That means considering his developmental stage and checking in to learn from him. Even as a baby, he gave me input through his responses and cues. I have to remain curious about his experiences, adapt, and adjust my approach, while staying aligned with my goal.

And here’s the part that people often miss:
I have to be willing to own my mess-ups. Yes, even with a young child, because he’s still a person. How I handle mistakes sets the standard for how House Mondoloka shows up (our brand) and it teaches him what to expect and accept from others.

✨And guess what? He still knows I’m the mom!

The same principle applies when leading teams.

Effective leadership requires:
🔹 Meeting people where they are – Understanding their unique strengths, challenges, and perspectives.
🔹 Staying adaptable – Because different people (and situations) may require different approaches, even when the goal stays the same.
🔹 The willingness to repair – Owning mistakes, rebuilding trust, and modeling accountability.

There’s a lot to gain when we lead well.

I shared a version of this to my LinkedIn.